So I Handed The Black Woman My Blackberry: Inspired by XKCD

By Daniel Miessler on May 25th, 2007: Tagged as Blogging | Internet | Personal

I recently blogged about a short XKCD comic series in which someone is encouraged by a time/dimension traveler version of them self to overcome resistances to living life. Their other form (that they meet in space) tells them to take wrong turns, open unmarked doors, and to engage people in conversation when you feel the whim.

There are so many adventures you miss out on because you’re waiting to think of a plan.

The lesson was one I’d heard many times before, and that I already embrace, but it was done in such a way that it still had a significant impact on me. So today, just a few minutes ago, while sitting in an airport in New York, I put my this newly invigorated concept into practice.

A buddy of mine and I were discussing multiculturalism and MLK’s “I have a dream” speech. Specifically, he wanted me to read the speech again and determine whether it stressed unity or multiculturalism. I did so, and concluded that the focus was unity.

Just as I finished responding to him via Blackberry, an older black woman wearing colorful African clothing and sporting dreadlocks sat down a couple seats from me. The thought crossed my mind for just one second that I was curious as to what her opinion was, but it was fleeting. The vision of a youngish white guy asking an older black woman out of the blue what her opinion of the “I have a dream” speech should show you why most would be reticent to proceed.

So I did nothing. For about 30 seconds.

I then remembered the message from the comic — about how the right way to live life is to engage when you see the chance of a good conversation. Don’t hide. Don’t worry. Don’t assume the worst. Just do it. Just live.

And I did. I handed her my Blackberry, showed her the question my buddy had sent me, and asked her opinion on the matter. We talked for a few minutes, and I ended up giving her my whole theory on multiculturalism. On how the melting pot was meant to create a homogeneous liquid, and how the progression toward “many countries” within America is a near guarantee of disaster.

Aside from the obvious shock due to the fact that we were having the conversation at all, she clearly enjoyed the exchange and actually acknowledged that it was a problem (perhaps for the first time?). Finally we agreed that the answer was an elusive one. It was very cool that the discussion even took place at all — and even more so that it was so positive.

So I thank the Internet. I thank the author of XKCD. And I encourage others to share their thoughts as Randall Munroe did. They do actually make a difference.:

Comments

homophone

RACIST!

mike

Yes, you should be so very proud of the fact that you stooped so low as to talk to a black person. Sigh.

Michael

Good post.

sosuke

I don't understand how homophone and mike came to the conclusion it was racist in how you conducted yourself but I came from reddit to take the chance to applaud your courage in reaching out to make a connection with a stranger on a possibly touchy subject. I am glad it turned out so well.

phaedrus

mike and homophone missed it. You did fine. Keep it up.

other mike

"So I handed the black woman my blackberry"? Are you serious? That *is* racist, and whatever feel-good conversation you were having with your buddy is a waste of time– mental masturbation. Why don't you go out and randomly do something that will open your eyes, instead of randomly choosing yet another subject to constrain into your worldview.

Joomla Degauss

Found you via Reddit. I don't see the title as racist at all. If it was a hot blonde, the title might have been "So I handed the hot blonde my blackberry". Or "so I handed the burly priest my blackberry". It works the same either way - the point is the feeling of making a connection with a stranger and through it discovering anew the joy of communication. It was a black woman, so what? Is noting that fact racist in itself?

James Aguilar

It might have been more constructive to ask her opinion on the issue than telling her your own. After all, she has lived many years and may have seen things from perspectives you and I will never experience.

natrius

Uh... how is that racist at all? You guys are silly. The point isn't that she was black, the point is that she was a random stranger. The fact that she's black was included because it's pertinent to the story. It was a conversation about race relations in America.

Everybody chill the eff out.

natrius

Well... I didn't notice the "perhaps for the first time" part. That's a little racist. Just because someone is a part of the communities you're talking about doesn't mean they don't realize that it's a problem.

Greg Davies

I was also inspired by the same panel of the same comic. I've tried to live my life by the maxim you quoted, but lately, being trapped in a small unfriendly town, I haven't had the inclination to go out and just live. The closest thing I've done lately was to buy someone's last cigarette, just because it was their last one.
I wish more people would just live, and yelling out of the car window is not what I mean. Just a sec, I love this song...

anusboy

Clearly, nothing quite like learning profound insights into living the human condition from a webcomic.

Introspection, pah! Give me that ol' time 3-second ADD-perpetuating microbite of Feel Good™. and I'll be back on my blithe way.

In summary, thumbs up on the conversation; thumbs way down on not having thought of this before you saw it in a comic. Think for yourself; it's fun!

xian

i thought it was a fine post. it seems these days if one uses any descriptions of anyone then they are immediately an -ist of some degree. i'm surprised you weren't called a sexist because you were talking with a black 'woman' or you were being insensitive to deaf and/or mute people because you were 'talking' to a black woman. i can see you initial apprehension to broach the subject as you probably would if you were asking a woman about a a subject concerning sexism.

it's too bad other mike thinks opening dialog with strangers is a worldview constraining activity. perhaps other mike would do some research on what mental masturbation has done for the brilliant and not-so-brilliant people in this world. some call it 'philosophy.' some may call it 'imagination.' i call it 'necessary.'

mind

... and she ran away

(now the question: is that an odd or even power of irony?)

Human

Speaking from a Black person's perspective,

1)In MY opinion It's OK for him to have specified the woman's color, to distinguish his intentions, if he just said *woman* his asking her would have been irrelevant. What I get annoyed at, is the focus being on my skin color and not my humanity. He was merely describing the person he spoke to. the description of her hair, or what she was wearing was rather superfluous. I guess he only wanted to emphasize how ethnically different/ *black* she was.

2) I'm grateful that he asked *her* opinion, rather than use her as a spokesperson, I can't even begin to imagine the number of times some random person found it appropriate to single me out and use me as spokesperson for a whole group.

3) I think he was only trying to give an example of how the comic inspired him, but I also sense a slight hint of self congratulation in this post, while his actions were commendable, It wasn't exactly earth shattering.

Quoting the writer {the melting pot was meant to create a homogeneous liquid, ...the progression toward “many countries” within America is a near guarantee of disaster.} While I agree with the latter statement, I strongly disagree that we need to be a homogeneous group that would require some people entirely give up their identity to assimilate into the dominant.

Quite frankly forced assimilation is the current state of affairs, and it apparently isn't working. We all just need to understand that we are all human. That should be common ground enough for us all.

Human

*Grammatical correction

3) ) I think he was only trying to give an example of how the comic inspired him, but I also sense a slight hint of self congratulation in this post, while his actions were commendable, THEY WEREN'T exactly earth shattering.

Robin Green

I agree with Human, except for this: it sounds to me like rather than genuinely asking the woman's opinion about the issue, he asked a leading question, much like a slimy political pollster might ask a leading question to obtain a desired answer rather than the person's true opinion. It's natural to be polite to strangers, so she may have just been agreeing with him purely out of politeness.

mochicrunk

The fact that the stranger on the bus was of a different race is central to the story being shared. Two people are having a conversation about multiculturalism and Martin Luther King's more well known speeches. Two views are presented: the melting pot (unity) and the salad bar (multiculturalism); one of them, inspired by a fascinating stickfigure webcomic, steps out of a *cultural* and *social* bubble and broaches the topic of someone of different ethnicity on a bus.

That's pretty damn profound in our highly mediated and partioned culture and I'm not even talking about seats on the bus being a historical symbol of segregation in the USA.

I would encourage anyone who is stuck on the phrase "black woman" to go read or listen to MLK's "I have a dream" speech, please (yes, again). Then think about what in multiculturalism serves equality. And then read Dan's post again.

Let me save you the google search. Transcript:
http://usinfo.state.gov/usa/infousa/facts/democ...
Video:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1732754...

Gilman

Bravo, this is the kind of thing that pushes man towards unity/multiculturalism. Divisiveness is human nature. We must work towards something beyond our selves. I applaud your courage. It only takes one to start something bit.

bouncethis

Yeah dude, your kind of a jackass, it shouldnt have taken "courage" to talk to a black woman. As a black man, I can talk to anyone I see without feeling bothered or having to gather courage or proverbial "balls". Were you sheltered in your younger years?

heckler

On the internet, no one can tell you're an ass. You did something you would not have otherwise done and tried something new - bravo. Tell Randall thanks and ignore these jackasses - they're just looking for things to explain their hate and you gave them an opening.

I didn't think that "congratulations for talking to someone outside your normal circle" would ever be a specifically praiseworthy event but in this world where people like bouncethis live, your risk of criticism for the simplest act makes it praiseable.

Human

So is he to be given a medal of honor for breaking his comfort zone? or having the courage to write about it, and beat his breast in pride?....wow! he's such a BLESSING to us all, bestowing upon us his openmindedness. The very incarnation of Ghandi!.

the fact that this is SUCH a big deal...4 DECADES later is a disgrace to the MLK's mission and the whole civil rights movement

so he had a frickin' conversation with someone whose skin color is different from his, whoop-de -fucking-DOO! I randomly interact with caucasians all the time. you don't see me blogging about it! or going into extensive descriptions about how *skater/punk/hick/surfer/insert descriptive stereotype here* they were.

It's not hate/criticism. I'm just tired of bullshit grandiose generosity. All I'm doing is pointing out the fact that when a caucasian does certain things, it's seen as absolutely groundbreaking, goodhearted and noble, and when minorities do the very same it is expected/goes entirely unrecognized

forgive us all for trying to place it all on equal ground.

Gilman, he did not *start* anything do not give honor where it is not due. This wasn't exactly the birth of rocket science.

like i said before...kudos to him, he did something different. but let's put it in perspective...it was just a conversation. not walking on water.

Daniel Miessler

Sorry it took so long to respond; I've been traveling. Thanks to those who understood and took inspiration from my being inspired. The others seem to have missed the point. The whole point of the post was in the first paragraph -- the XKCD comic. The concept was that if something was on your mind, you should not be afraid to talk to others about it.

So here's the sequence of events:

1. I have a long conversation about nationalism and multiculturalism with my friend Jason. He tells me to read the MLK speech again and decide whether or not it was for unity or multiculturalism.

2. The woman comes and sits down next to me. I like to talk about these issues but normally wouldn't discuss our conversation with a complete stranger -- especially one who might take offense. An older black woman wearing African colors and sporting dreds fits that category.

3. I decide, as most people would, NOT to say anything to her because it's too risky. Too politically charged. Too strange for a stranger of another race to just up and start talking about real topics like these.

4. I remember the comic that says to do it anyway.

5. I do it.

--

As to those who said that the post was self-congratulatory -- they're partially right. But they missed the point there too. The part I was proud of was putting into action the lesson that I had blogged about earlier, i.e. the XKCD lesson. It was NOT the fact that I talked to a black woman. I grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area and am fluent in Spanish, so talking to people who look different than I do isn't anything worth blogging about for me.

As for the title, that's where the engineering came in. I wrote the title so that it would get attention (because it mentioned a Blackberry and race). I feel slightly bad for that, but not really.

As for not including her comments, that wasn't the point. Again, it wasn't about "talking to a black woman". It was about being willing to talk to a stranger -- especially one when there exists a strong social barrier to doing so. For your information, though, we did actually discuss a few things. She asked if we were doing a research project for a graduate program. I told her we just enjoy discussing such things. She also mentioned the popular belief that we're not seeing anything different than any other immigration surge, which I also addressed.

She contributed many times, although most of the conversation was me asking her what she thought of the conversation that my friend and I were having. I wanted to see what she thought about it. But again, the only interesting part about that was taking the step of asking her opinion -- which most people would never do (see comic).

The bottom line is that those of you who see racism in this post have issues. You've been hyper-sensitized by your upbringing and the media to overreact to anything that even mentions race. I'd ask you to consider things more closely before leveling accusations at people you don't know. Especially when the true point of the article is right in front of your face and you chose to ignore it due to excitement over the chance to be righteous.

Mike

I'm apprehensive about engaging a random stranger on a charged subject simply because you're rolling the dice on what the common ground will be.

Common ground is important.

Walk into a bar in Ireland and order the wrong brand of whiskey and you've just identified yourself as an enemy of the community.

(Also, half of the people crying racist are doing it because of the unfortunate title.)

ashley

so, as a black woman, i would say is not racist. you guys can yell all you want, but no matter what race, creed, etc you are, there is someone who you would not feel comfortable talking to, or normally wouldn't bother talking to. some people only talk to people with similar interests, who live in the same neighborhood, or have the same religion- and i don't mean just say 'hi' or something shallow like that; i mean to actually communicate with them.for someone to go out of their comfort zone and interact with someone on a level deeper than what they're used to is commendable, and might have actually been meaningful enough for the person such that they wanted to blog about it. hell, people blog about less interesting/more pointless things every day.

if it had been me that he had talked to, i most likely would have been surprised at first, but also interested in having a conversation that most likely wouldn't have happened. for those who are going on about racism, you're missing the point of his post. its about going out of your comfort zone and trying to experience more of life. even if the title is a little sensationalist. :)

Joe

I loved that short comic series on XKCD (I've been reading it for a while, I absolutely love the comics).
What you did wasn't racist at all, and I applaud you on doing something that I wouldn't do (I wouldn't hand my phone to any random stranger).
I'm going to "look for tiny interesting choices" in my own life now. :)

So I Handed The Black Woman My Blackberry: Inspired by XKCD

By Daniel Miessler on May 25th, 2007: Tagged as Blogging | Internet | Personal

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